One Day, You Will…

“One day, you will be hired to do program evaluation for an organization, and they will love it, but it won’t be here.”

That sentence resonates with me, because it was one of the last things an old employer told me before being let go, exactly a year ago today. I harbor no ill will toward this employer, because as it turns out – they were right. The very same day I left that job, my current job was posted. I applied that night.

One point of contention in my old job was that I believe program evaluation is paramount in improving programmatic outcomes and I believe that includes staff and volunteer outcomes. I believe it includes both quantitative and qualitative outcomes. It requires assessment at every level – an administrative task that not every organization believes is worthwhile.

It was not long before being let go that I was accepted into a PhD program. This fit my interest in data and numbers and assessment and finding causal links and indicators both quantitative and qualitative. I was finishing my masters and eager to apply my new skills and knowledge to the field. I was not long for that position, no matter what my employer thought. I hoped to mold it to fit my skills, rather than leave, but that was not a possibility.

I realize now what I struggled to understand then: that I do not thrive in task oriented positions. My strength is not in my ability to do many tasks quickly and efficiently, but in my ability to take information and process it and understand it in a dynamic and complex way. It was why I longed for evaluation and assessment. It was why I was always critically examining things that were presented to me. It was why I found taskwork monotonous and dull and unengaging.

It has been a year since I finished my master’s and left my old job. It has been a year since I applied for my current job. Looking back, it all seems so simple and silly. Knowing then what I know now, I may have done things differently, but if I didn’t leave that job on the day that I did, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

I have an amazing job that I am happy to do every day, that challenges me and directly impacts the populations I long to serve. My old employer was right. I am doing program evaluation for an organization that values me – and I value it.

Never question your value, your skills, or your trajectory. You are exactly where you want to be if you stay true to yourself. That’s what this last year has taught me.

I am building the world I want to live in, one assessment at a time.